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Among your friends, you are the mature one. But how you date a much older crush, you may feel like a baby. You want a man you can learn from, regardless of his age. But his friends are another man altogether. It may be challenging to get them to take you seriously. It may, quite honestly, turn you off.
This week, we’re talking to Amy Anderson about her experience of dating older men. You can catch My First Time on Acast, Google Play, Apple.
Dating an older man can be a fantastic way to get back into the dating game. But, mature women know that dating an older guy can also come with some pitfalls. So, should you give dating an older man a go? When women age they tend to keep all the trappings of their former younger self. An active friendship circle, interests, hobbies, and close family ties all keep her busy. As women get older their lives tend to be more multifaceted and complex because they have more time to explore and grow as a person.
This is due to the other stereotype that surrounds older men, that they tend to slow down in later life, become settled in their ways and are done with exploring new opportunities. Perhaps the truth is not that older men slow down, but that older women speed up.
Jump to navigation. For younger women, dating a man 10 to 20 years older than her can give her more than simply great experiences or memories. Dating older men can be an experience unto itself and comes with perks you may have never imagined before.
6 Women On What It’s Really Like To Date Much Older Men targeted younger women because they lacked the experience and knowledge to.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man over 30 must be in want of a significantly younger woman. Just because we acknowledge this fact, though, does not mean we do so without a certain amount of derision and judgment. From the Instagram commenter who felt the need to remind Zach Braff that he is 44 after the actor dropped a cutesy emoji under a post from year-old girlfriend Florence Pugh to the collective eye-roll aimed at Leonardo DiCaprio every time the actor steps out with a new subyear-old girlfriend, the internet loves to hate an eyebrow-raising age gap.
The problem with this narrative, as comedian and writer Anya Volz pointed out in a Twitter thread last weekend, is that it tends to paint men at the northern ends of these age gaps as inherently predatory, rendering the younger women on the opposite sides helplessly preyed-upon victims of male exploitation instead of conscious, self-determined agents who are more than capable of pursuing older men as willfully and actively as older men pursue them.
This is not to say that such dynamics are never predatory and older men should feel free to relentlessly pursue younger women because all young women are actively seeking such attention. The first rule of not being the worst is to stop assuming that literally anything is ever true of all women or, for that matter, all people of any gender, race, age, sexuality, etc. It is to say, however, as Volz expressed in her thread, that while these conversations ostensibly intend to protect young women, they have a tendency to instead strip such women of their autonomy, relegating all women in relationships with older men to a state of presumed vulnerability.
Also complicating this already nuanced matter?
Are you dating an older fellow or thinking about dipping your toes into that more mature water? Well, my dears, you’ve come to the right place. I’m dating an older man, you know. Oh yes, it’s quite thrilling. I’m an expert on the topic.
I made contact through Facebook, and at first it was all about books — though when I say at first, I mean the first two hours. Twenty-five years: such an enormous gap. It started innocently enough. We talked and talked for four days. My sister Alice, who was my closest confidante, was shocked and scared when I told her about him. To her — and me — sleeping with him seemed like the most dangerous thing to do. Which only increased the attraction. It was me who set up our first meeting, in a hotel one Monday morning, just before he started his hospital shift.
I spent the Sunday night unable to sleep, impatient but anxious, too. He wasn’t conventionally handsome, someone you would stop and stare at in the street. But what fooled — or seduced — me was the admiration I could see in his expression; the desire he seemed to have for me. And so our affair began. Our rendezvous left me exhausted and exhilarated. I knew I didn’t have what it took to replace his wife, or even compete with her.
I was on the phone with one of my best friends the other day. She filled me in on all the latest of her dating dilemmas. My friend is a successful woman, with a great career and a lovely personality.
I find it genuinely bizarre that having sex with a man 20 years older than you is still taboo. During dinner with a friend recently, she asked me, with one eyebrow raised, what I think the main difference is between sleeping with older men versus younger men. Their grimaces are the giveaway. If a guy has grey hair on his head, is it a surprise if he has grey hair downstairs? And better that than if he’d been dying them.
The only real difference is that older men are normally a little heavier around the gut — you can’t be expected to have 20 years’ more eating experience without it showing. I went on a date with a guy my age 29 — graphic designer — cute — stupid name. And there are no games with the older guy. The sex is just better. And second. When I sleep with young guys, I find myself in ridiculous positions with my head hanging backwards off the bed.
I have a particular interest in health, spirituality, fitness, and the mind-body connection. We all remember when year-old Ashley Olsen made headlines for reportedly dating year-old Bennett Miller, the director of Moneyball. And yes, I know some younger men date older women. Kyle Jones, a year-old Pittsburgh man, raised eyebrows for having a relationship with year-old great-grandmother, Marjorie McCool.
All that to say, I am not being sexist, however, this article is about younger women falling in love with older men and I don’t mean a few years older. Let’s address the fact that there exists this notion the woman who dates the old guy has turned against her kind.
But her stories, along with my personal experience with younger men, really confirm that I won’t ever go back to dating a man my age.
When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible. I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation? The Older Man was a peculiar person. For one, he wore silk onesie pajamas that he meticulously ironed to have a crease down the center of the pant leg.
For instance, we were both making our first attempts at writing books.
From trailblazers George and Amal Clooney to Emmanuel and Brigette Macron, age gap relationships are increasingly more common. Dating an older man is often so much less complicated than going for a younger guy. They say age is just a number, but those extra years will have given him life experiences, stories and a more refined sense of humour to boot. Gone will be the days of awkwardly told anecdotes and dead-end conversations; settle in for a conversational masterclass!
Dating older men is not a new trend (see: any red carpet event in the past few life experience which makes it not as concerning if she were still in her teens.
Dating someone older than you can teach you a lot about life. It can help you better understand what it’s like to be a certain age, gain perspective on the current phase you’re in, or realize that you actually don’t like a large age gap when it comes to relationships. There’s a lot to consider about dating someone who’s older than you are, because your relationship may need some added communication to bridge the age gap.
In case you were curious, here are six different perspectives from people who have experienced dating someone older. Dating someone older taught me a ton about myself and what I want in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely got my heart low-key broken.